Moron manifesto

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If you aren’t clear what a moron is, let me set that straight before moving on. For the purpose of this article a moron is any person you observe, think wtf and then categorize with a curse word or some other disparaging comment, like “Moron!”

Have you noticed that the number of and frequency that you run into morons is dramatically increasing? Have you ever wondered why? If you keep reading I may be able to explain it.

There are people out there doing things, acting in ways, saying stuff (out loud, on the opinion page of the newspaper, or with social media) that just rub you the wrong way, conflict with your beliefs, annoy your sense of what is right and make you wonder what has gone wrong with the world. This might be as simple as someone cutting in front of you on the highway a little closer to your car that you are comfortable with. It might also be as significant as violating a deeply held and publicly stated religious, philosophical or spiritual belief (an affront to all that you hold dearly and central to the existence of humanity on the planet.)

Look around, make sure no one is watching, and raise your hand if you have run into one of these morons today, in the last hour or can see one right now. Now look around, do you see anyone else raising their hand? Are they looking at you? Yep, that’s right—you might be their moron.

At some point we are all someone else’s moron and the U.S. Constitution, that I fought and killed people for during my years in the Marines, protects each of our rights to act like a moron. It is this diversity that makes our country strong. Morons all over the world are imprisoned and worse because they lack the freedoms we Americans take for granted when we disagree with another of our citizens and categorize them as a moron.

Now is where I ask for your help ridding the world of morons. Accept that what makes us different individually makes us stronger as a nation. Attempt to begin to understand—because it only works if you try to understand as often as you judge. Realize, yes, occasionally you are someone else’s moron and the right you enjoy to judge them is shared by those judging you. Eventually stop calling people morons. Only then will we rid the world of morons. Only you can stop moronism.

Tim Peterson

Corvallis

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