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Ever had a panhandler ask you for change for a nickel? Ever seen a dirty guy on the street ask a businessman if he’s hungry? No? Then you haven’t met 25-year-old Age Piedascalzzi, most recently spotted outside First Interstate Bank on Higgins Avenue wearing a suit and holding a sign that reads: “Victim of Bear Market. Will work for Lexus.” “Essentially it’s a tool for the public to stop what they’re doing just for a brief moment,” he says. “People get locked in a rut of going to their job, and this makes them think a little bit.” Not that St. Age (his DJ name) doesn’t have a steady job, too. The Hoboken, N.J., transplant hosts two shows on KBGA, playing music that, like his street gigs, “verges on experimental,” he says. In his time staging stunts in Missoula, Spokane, New York City and El Paso, St. Age has elicted laughter from some viewers; he’s also had professional types “in full trot [away from me] wearing wing tips,” he says. Asked where he got the idea for his offbeat activism, St. Age muses: “This is a product of—a culmination of—ADD and too much time on my hands.” St. Age does seem to have more time than we worker drones: At Comatose Productions, an artistic venture he founded, St. Age calls himself “employee of the month and CEO of my banana republic.” He’s also recently joined the Church of Stop Shopping, led by the Reverend Billy out of NYC. Where will he stop? To what lengths will St. Age go to push us lemmings out of our collective box? Hint: Tune in to KBGA this Tuesday, Oct. 19, at 10 a.m. “St. Age can happen anywhere and may happen to you,” he says.
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So you’re sick and tired of the presidential and vice presidential debates, beleaguered by Veep Dick Cheney’s lingering ties to Halliburton, infuriated by presidential hopeful John Kerry’s single raised eyebrow, still denying that the inarticulate scowler is indeed your commander in chief. Rest assured, fair voters, we offer you a candidate for whom you can proudly cast a vote. This candidate isn’t exactly an alternative to goldfish-bug-eyed Cheney or horse-face Kerry, but close. On Monday, Oct. 11, the online polls opened for you to select your favorite Division IA and IAA college football mascot. The easiest route to the mascot menu is www.montanagrizzlies.com. The “incumbent,” as you well know, is none other than the University of Montana’s cartwheeling, back-flipping, motorcycle-riding Monte, who won the “Capitol One Mascot of the Year” award for 2002–2003. Monte is currently one of 12 finalists for the 2004–05 crown. In this round, he’s running against Aubie, a sleepy-looking tiger from Alabama’s Auburn University. Monte should be a shoo-in. (Tangent: Remember the cartoon tiger on those “Grrrreat” cereal boxes? Not Aubie at all. Aubie looks high, but maybe he has a medical prescription.) The deadline for voting in this round is Oct. 18. A winner will be announced in January. And, lest you believe that these mascots are trivial and insignificant, listen to what Capitol One’s Pam Girardo says in a press release: “College mascots have more impact on day-to-day (campus) life than even the president.” We assume (we hope) she means the campus president.

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