Seems there’s no end to the cavalcade of well-intentioned celebrities whose cups runneth over with time/money/righteous energy to burn on their respective pet projects. Leading the flock this season in the time-honored custom of charitable bell-ringing, pledge-begging and other tactics in guilt-induced behavior modification is actress and Hollywood sweetheart Alicia Silverstone, who is raising the battle cry over the cruel and inhumane treatment of the holiday turkey. No, not another skirmish in the war over white meat vs. dark meat, or a dissertation on the pros and cons of carving the turkey rather than merely tearing at it with greasy fingers. Bat Girl herself has joined forces with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) on a personal campaign against the evils of factory farming.
“While the celebration of Christmas always fills me with gratitude and joy for the ways in which I am so fortunate,” write the former mall-walking star of Clueless and confirmed vegan , “it also distresses me that this holiday is marked by the slaughter of countless turkeys.” Thankfully, Alicia offers some helpful cruelty-free alternatives to the traditional holiday centerpiece of a bronzed, belly-up bird, including the “UnTurkey” and the unfortunately named “Tofurky”, both of which are available in stores or by mail order. “It’s something Alicia feels really strongly about,” stresses PETA spokesperson Karla Waples, adding that Ms. Silverstone was honored in September with a humanitarian award for her work on PETA’s anti-dissection campaign. We’re sure Ali’s mom was very proud, though perhaps a bit disappointed that her nice Jewish girl is celebrating Christmas, even if it is with mock animal products.
We’re an easygoing bunch here at the Independent. We don’t get all bent out of shape when people steal our jokes and bite our rhymes. We just want to let love rule.
So we don’t get our knickers in a twist when the arousingly martial lock-step of the Evil Empire across the road disintegrates into a lot of furtive shuffling around in our alleyway, as Missoulian writers root around in our rubbish bins looking for things to rip off. Nor do we lose our cool when Independent tidbits mysteriously appear in the Missoulian weeks or even months down the road. After all, a lot of coincidences might easily be chalked up to the “Plate of Shrimp” effect described in Repo Man: Take, for example, the “Copy Cat” and his “sudden” interest in anagrams—after our embattled Calendar Kid had been running his own for several weeks.
Slightly more suspect are the occasional cases in which Independent stories appear in the Missoulian under virtually or exactly the same headline. May we submit: “The Graying of Missoula,” about the effects of an aging Baby Boom population on Missoula politics and social services, which the Independent ran on April 1 of this year. Compare with “The Graying of Missoula,” about the effects of an aging Baby Boom population on Missoula politics and social services, which appeared in the Missoulian on December 15 of this year. Geez, guys, help yourselves!